I’ve never considered myself to be a frugal person.
I don’t make my own reusable toilet paper like those Extreme Cheapskates on TLC do.
I don’t bake from scratch. Though, this past weekend I made bread for the first time. It was delicious, but too much work for a Saturday so I probably won’t do it again any time soon.
I don’t clip coupons or pay attention to grocery store sales.
Occasionally I indulge in The Starbucks.
I don’t like buying things used.
I take my family to the zoo with no coupons and pay full price for zoo food.
I own an iPhone, an iPad, and I pay for satellite radio.
I don’t use reward credit cards, or reward anything, really.
But with all of these ways I don’t fall in line with frugality, I also don’t spend a lot of money.
I take my lunch to work every day.
I stretch my wardrobe so I don’t have to spend much on new clothes.
I delay getting haircuts, and car washes, and all sorts of things to save money.
I patiently wait for birthdays and gift cards to get what I really want.
I sometimes make my own laundry detergent.
I DIY as much as I possibly can.
I don’t spend my windfall on that chair from Crate and Barrel (even though at times I really, really want it).
So which am I? Frugal, or not? Cheapskate or spendthrift? Saver or spender?
A few years ago my family needed to make big changes to our financial situation. To put it simply, we needed pay off debt, and we needed more money to do it.
But the thought of spending less money was so…unappealing. Spending less is what frugal people do. People like my neighborhood pal’s mom growing up who always had freshly washed plastic bags hanging from her windowsill. People who really like staying home and playing board games. You know, frugal people.
But what I didn’t realize at the time, is that I can still be frugal, and still be me.
I have the power to choose how and when to save my own pennies. I don’t have to do the other things that other people do. And I don’t have to feel guilty for not doing them either.
I feel like the pimpless Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Over the past few years my husband and I have made significant changes to cut our monthly expenses.
Some changes were simply a matter of cutting out the things that didn’t matter to us.
Some changes came when we found a less expensive way to achieve the same end.
Other changes were a result of taking our time and doing some soul searching. Can we really live with out this? How much do we love it? Can we replace it with something else?
And other changes happened when we became comfortable in our own non-frugal/frugal skins.
But nothing was done that we didn’t want to do, in the end at least.
So I may not clip coupons, I may not wash plastic bags, I may pay full price for popcorn and candy at the movie theater, but I can still frugal in my own right.
And as it turns out, that family that makes their own reusable toilet cloths really likes using them. That’s their right too.
This post is part of Women’s Money Week 2012. For more posts about saving see today’s Saving and Investing Roundup
March 7, 2012 at 6:37 AM
Finally someone who understands !
Thanks for the article.
March 7, 2012 at 6:49 AM
Ha – I love the Julia Roberts graphic!
March 7, 2012 at 7:30 AM
Being frugal is completely individual to the person, I think. I wouldn’t say I’m crazy frugal but I do reuse yogurt containers for leftovers and only get my hair cut every six months which makes me look like a crazy frizzy mess by the end of the sixth month. I think, if it’s “frugal for you”, you’re doling good!
March 7, 2012 at 8:47 AM
This speaks volumes to me because this is the way I save. This way, it doesn’t hurt me. It doesn’t affect me. It doesn’t bother me. Because I do it the way I want to save and how I want to be frugal. That’s why personal finance is so personal, everyone can tailor it to however they please, and that’s what counts!
March 7, 2012 at 9:28 AM
I think your approach is a great balance. I tried couponing, but it wasn’t for me. I do snatch up great sales whenever I can, though. I also live frugally day-to-day so that I can splurge on movie theater popcorn and other stuff.
March 7, 2012 at 10:27 AM
Ha! Sounds like “frugal” is a four-letter word to you. I think saving money in areas you don’t care about and practicing conscious spending in the areas that matter is really what this life is all about.
March 8, 2012 at 10:00 PM
If you take out the ‘r’ and ‘a’ and add a ‘y’ it spells fugly. Yes, frugal is a four letter word for me ;)
March 7, 2012 at 10:38 AM
I think the word “frugal” can sometimes have negative connotations. I think if one saves money buy doing things less expensively, that is in essence, being frugal. Everyone does their own thing and that’s okay :)
March 7, 2012 at 11:00 AM
I agree that not all money saving tactics are for everyone. You have to choose the areas that you are comfortable saving money in. It depends on a person’s situation too. If you are in a dire financial crisis, you’d probably want to save in more areas. Just do what makes you happy.
March 8, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Exactly. If we needed to do these things to get by, that would be one thing.
March 7, 2012 at 11:02 AM
Haha, my post today was all about the words we use about money. I never thought I would enjoy cutting things out or replacing items with less expensive options. But when you can pay all your bills and bring your balances down, it seems very worth it. I never thought I would be frugal, but I’m slowly becoming practical and budget-conscious (my term of choice :))
March 7, 2012 at 11:11 AM
This is fantastic. I feel the same way, I cut where I want to cut and keep what I want to keep. I say!!
I think as long as you are happy with your spending then everything will work out.
March 7, 2012 at 1:52 PM
You pay full price for zoo food? You need to turn in your frugal card right now! Next thing you know you’re going to say that you don’t make your kids clothes out of dryer lint either.
Great post!
March 8, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Haha. I think I needed to turn in my frugal card a long time ago then.
March 7, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Lindy, I feel the same way. In the past 2 years we have paid off a lot of things, but we have also splurged on several things as well that were totally not necessary. Yeah, we’d be closer to debt free if we hadn’t paid $4,200 for a new pool liner and installation, but we wouldn’t have nearly so much fun in the summers. :) I’m like you, I am willing to cut corners (I don’t shop much, cut my husband’s hair, etc) but I’m not willing to sacrifice everything. DEFINITELY not toilet paper. Yikes.
March 8, 2012 at 10:03 PM
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m sure your family will remember their summers by the pool much more than the time you paid off debt.
March 8, 2012 at 6:42 AM
Sensible advice. I think I fall in the same category of “Nothing too fancy with my savings” savings strategy. Sometimes common sense goes a lot further than cutting corners with value.
March 8, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Love this philosophy! I write about personal finance as well, and sometimes I feel guilty that I’m not always taking my own advice. But I think the best savings strategy is the one that works for your own life.
March 8, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Great post! “Frugal” is all about interpretation and–as you point out–it has to be something you WANT to do. I have no interest in making my own detergent, but I do really enjoy baking from scratch (even though it does take a long time). It’s all about personalization.
March 8, 2012 at 10:04 PM
If you spliced both of us together, we’d be the perfect frugal person. ;)
March 9, 2012 at 2:47 AM
I am frugal when it comes to:
clothing/beauty
entertainment spending
the big expenses – house and car
But I will happily spend money on
good food
travel
They make me happy.
March 10, 2012 at 1:48 PM
I’m definitely not a frugal person. I’m also not a punctual person, as evidenced by my lateness in commenting on this post. Anyway, I will spend money on the things I want – the difference now is that I won’t go into debt to do it. Some people want to be minimalist and get rid of all their stuff, and that’s cool if they want to. I just don’t want to.
March 10, 2012 at 1:55 PM
To be honest I don’t understand how you can be frugal on everything and still be happy. There need to be something that makes you happy and that might make you spend more money on that particular type of thing than “average”… For me it is food and exercising – I need good food and I need a good gym to feel good. And I spend the money I need to on those things. On the other side I am very frugal on clothes, shoes, spas, entertainment, eating out, Starbucks etc…