We haven’t given him a proper name yet. He’s actually more like an extended house guest these days.
I have to admit, our relationship with Debt is a little strained. On the one hand, he has given us a lot of good things. Like, groceries, when we were poor grad students living in Boston and all our income was going towards rent.
Then there was the time when we had a baby, still while poor grad students, and debt bought our baby a few toys and essentials, like 500 pacifiers to make him stop crying.
Later our baby grew up to be 4, and we promised to take him to Disneyland after his brother was born. Only, the money we had budgeted for that trip went towards hospital bills instead. Debt was kind enough to step in and front our admission to The Happiest Place on Earth anyways.
Debt has repaired our cars when they have gone kaput. And bought us a new TV when ours went to Electronics Heaven.
Yes, Debt has helped us with an open hand when we’ve needed it the most. That’s why we invited him into our lives to be one with our family.
But now, he has become a little annoying.
He’s been taking more than he’s been giving, and he’s brought his obnoxious cousins to live with us too. They go by the names Student Loan and Home Equity Loan (I’ll explain later). The three of them have been keeping us up at night with all their carryings on. And they eat all our cereal.
It is high time we cut ties. Debt, you’ve served us well, but the time has come for you to move on. Even though you are kind of cute.
I am feeling a little guilty though that Debt has such a boring name. I’m thinking Beauregard might be a good name for him. Or maybe Enid. It might be easier to evict an Enid over a Beauregard.
If he was your debt, what would you name him?
[Update: This debt has been evicted! ]